What’s your instinctive reaction when games are mentioned in popular culture? Do you shimmy forwards eager to hear what people have to say, delighted that something you enjoy is getting air time? Or do you flinch, worrying what stereotypes and negative perceptions are about to be perpetuated?
I think I know your answer. I think it’s probably similar to mine. And my answer – my instinct – comes from years of games and gamers being treated a certain way. But let’s come back to that. The reason I ask at all is because, well there’s no hiding it, it’s because of Love is Blind. Are there any fans out there?
That’s not a statement by the way, if you’re somehow unfamiliar, but the name of a show. Love is Blind is a Netflix dating show where men and women meet in small rooms (pods) and can’t see each other because of dividing walls between them. Therefore, they have to establish (or not) relationships based on what they hear. Only after one person proposes – as in: asks to marry – can they meet each other face to face. Then they go on holiday and live together for a few weeks, and then marry. Or not. That’s the show. It’s fascinating.
I mention Love is Blind here not just because I want people to talk to about it, but because Eurogamer has an unexpected connection with it, with someone on the show – someone in the just-ended second UK series. You know that charming guy Kieran who matches with Megan (you probably don’t), who the show labels as a “gaming entrepreneur”?
His full name is Kieran Holmes-Darby, and Ed interviewed him in 2022 at the Formula E E-Prix event at London’s ExCel exhibition centre. Holmes-Darby organised and led the Accelerate eSports racing tournament there. He’s director of gaming at Formula E. I found this out yesterday and it excited me enormously. Why? For a few reasons. One, because the label “gaming entrepreneur” had been nagging at me and I wondered what Holmes-Darby actually did and whether it was a real job. Two, because I wanted to know what Ed thought of him (he said Holmes-Darby was very nice); and three, which is related to two, Holmes-Darby is my favourite person on the show.
I’m not alone in feeling this way, by the way. Plenty of people have been praising the way Holmes-Darby has dealt with tricky situations and communicated and complemented Megan, his match. He seems like a good lad. But what appeals to me more about him is how Holmes-Darby has represented games during the show, and people who play them. It’s his enthusiasm for them, his unapologetic love for them.
There’s one episode where – and I’m sorry for the slight spoiler – Holmes-Darby shows Megan his house and the gaming set-up he has there. This looks like an actual gaming desk – a streamer’s desk, actually – complete with microphone, headphones, gaming chair, etc. All the paraphernalia you might expect. And far from being embarrassed about having it, Holmes-Darby seems excited to show Megan, and let her in on an enormously important part of his life.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone connected to gaming in a show like this in this way before, and I’ve watched a lot of series of Love is Blind, as well as the shows that orbit it (the Lachey universe). The muscled-up and heavily made-up people who appear on these shows are not the kind I expect to play games seriously. They’re the sort of people I imagine wrinkling their noses at people who do. Even Megan, Holmes-Darby’s match, says early on that she doesn’t want to meet a gamer because she thinks there’s something immature about it – that’s her preconceived notion. And that’s the sort of prejudice I expect. But then she meets Holmes-Darby and he changes her mind.
This is what I really like: Holmes-Darby’s effect on her and, I hope, on other people watching the show. He doesn’t represent everyone who plays games but he does represent people who play games very well. There’s a nerd in there he’s not afraid to let out. And it’s that bravery I really admire. Because I think I am, and certainly have been, afraid to do the same.
To come back to the question I asked earlier about your knee-jerk reaction to gaming when it’s referenced in popular culture: I flinch – that’s my answer. I’ve been conditioned by years of negative gaming stereotypes to feel that way. I’ve felt the condescension and derision directed towards adults who play games. So, while gaming has been and continues to be an enormous part of my life, there are occasions where I downplay it. I can’t seem to help it.
But Holmes-Darby doesn’t. He openly loves games, even within the intensely scrutinised world of Netflix reality dating shows. And that’s why I love him. He is unashamed – a blast of nerdy sunlight radiating from my TV. Holmes-Darby reminds me how far we’ve come.
